Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The "REBEL"

The Rebel

Here I bet you thought I was talking about me! Well I can be a rebel, but I am talking about The Rebel! A sexy vibrator from, Babeland This one is great for those G-spots ladies! It is a vibrator that has a curve to it, you can use it for clit stimulation, or you can use it for that G-spot. It is waterproof too! Hmm, just think of all the things you can do in the bathtub with this one. Now your imagination is working, I hope!!

I just had to try this out! Well sometimes you have to try things out just to see....well you get my drift.


I took this in my bathtub, just to try out this wonderful waterproof silicone, one speed vibrator. I turned the water on hot, added some of my favorite bubble bath, and away we went! Ohh, sorry I got a little carried away there! But this sexy vibrator really hits the spot! And it is small enough you can tuck it in your purse, your bag and take it away with you on one of those weekend trips.

I love Babeland , they are women-friendly and have a variety of sex toys and vibrators! So check them out today, and see all the goodies they have!!! I assure you won't be disappointed!







Life goes on..........

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Substance.

 
 
Substance is something I crave. Substance is something I need. And I am not talking about that kind of substance that fills you up to the point you couldn't eat another bite. I am talking about life substance. About the kind of substance that I need in my universe. I am talking about the 'meat' of the matter. That type of substance that clings inside and fills me up. I have needed that type of substance way before I realized what it was/is. And once I did, I knew that I had to have even more. I think it goes even deeper than a base need, it goes to this desperate quiet place inside that brews and bubbles away until it is fed. That need goes to the core of who I am. Kind of hard to put into words, but I know that I must have 'it'. Without it I do not thrive. Without it I kind of wither inside but yet at the same time, it boils more to the point of boiling over and turning into an obsession.

I am talking about the core inside me that needs that power exchange, that need to be mastered, that need to be made complete. For most of my life I have heard something similar to, "You don't need a man to be happy." Wanna bet! I do, and will dispute that. For years that has made me feel like a freak because I do and desperately. I have heard it from my mother, my sister, family, friends, and just plain in general. Can I live on my own? Can I support myself? Can I raise children all alone? Yes, and I have. But there is one part that did not feed me in all that. Where was the substance. Where was that deep seated need fed. It wasn't and therefore I was not complete.

A friend and I were talking the other day about this, and how my 'need' came to be. For as long as I remember I have had that need. I can remember formulating ideas in my head at an early age of what I needed in that and even then I felt like a freak. I learned that it did not fit in with the other girls I hung with. They wanted marriage and I wanted so much more. Some of them wanted to go off and be independent. After all I was raised in the 60's and 70's where women's lib was just coming into play. Burning bras and all that and I would hear these rants about how NO women needed a man to make her happy. I wanted to stand up and shout, "WRONG!" but in my quiet journey, I didn't.

I was married the first time at 18, but only because I was dumb and got pregnant. That sure didn't last long, because there was no substance to it. He fed none of my needs. A couple more failed relationships and then I took a stand. I wasn't going to settle anymore. I started to search out men that I assumed were powerful in their own rights and through one of them I found an alternative lifestyle. One that showed me men were the leaders, and women were the followers. Oh boy, there was substance in that! That was something I had searched for my entire life. And it fed me. I wanted/needed more and more.

But for a long time it was like living a double life. The outside world kept up their harping about women are equal to men and my world preached that women were not. I felt tugged and pulled in many different directions. I had a powerful job where women were basically equal and I was in charge of men. But in my private life I would dig my fork into the substance and hang on for dear life. I was fighting to be fed that substance. And that is when the desperation would come. How in the heck did I find that balance. I made check lists, I put labels to people. I had my own risk factor chart.

And trust me, I made plenty of mistakes along the way. I ended up with men who couldn't dominate their way out of a paper bag, I met abusers. I met men who were very dominant but yet at the same time, didn't fulfill those needs. For one reason or another. But I learned, I learned how to refine my lists, and my labels. I learned how to define myself. I learned what would feed me and what would not. Not once did that desperate need go away to find that one that could feed me and make me complete. I needed substance and had to find a way to be fed. The journey has been interesting and knowledgeable and full of passion and learning, but always an end goal in sight.

I have learned to put those voices of the outside world away. I have learned that if my needs are not met, I am going to have them met, one way or another. I have learned that if those needs of long ago are not met with my expectations, I will move on until they are. I used to wonder if that made me shallow, until I realized they are needs for a reason. You can squash them down inside, but you can never remove them. They are just as important to me as the food I eat. They nourish me, they give me substance.


Life goes on.................

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Middle of the Week Musings.


Happy Hump Day.

Every time I get ready to post on my blog, something pops up. And no, get your minds out of the gutter, I mean things like reality checks, and I fear that if I do post, it may sound negative.

Ohh hell, who cares, it is negative. We had a death in the family this week, and it sucks. Another death in less than two years. Too many. Way too many.

I keep trying to think of positive cliches, and not gonna happen.

My washer broke yesterday.

I looked at my last post and thought it has been a while since I posted. Holidays over, thank goodness, and here I am again, in winter. That time of year I hate the most. But at least it has been pretty mild.

On a good note, we meaning "Slick" got a new puppy a few weeks ago. She is adorable. We are now the proud owners of a German shepherd puppy named, Freya. We now have a cat and a dog and two adult children, and one boyfriend, and I do not need a partridge in a pear tear.

I keep wondering will they possibly grow up some day and move out. The Diva is 21, and the Diva's boyfriend is 25, and Slick is 19. It seems that my house is growing instead of dwindling. I may never know what empty nest feels like. I wonder if I can try it sometime.

Before I am too old to enjoy it.

Hm, on other notes.........

Life goes on........