Happy Hump Day!
Okay, this one is going to cover it all.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
I made it through the holidays, but it was hard. I didn't think it would be as hard as it was, but it was hard.
Nuff said about that. They are over and for that I am glad.
It is time to get off my ass and get in gear and get this life going again. It has been on hold for the most part. I need motivation, and I need energy to get up and do what has to be done.
And then I wonder how to do that. I used to have all these little rituals I would do upon rising in the morning. And one of them was writing in my old blog almost every day, and then once I deleted my old blog, I quit. I re-started this one, but it is not the same. I also have a "vanilla" one for family and friends, and maybe it is time to start another one, and just have it out there in the cyber world. But then I wonder would I do that one either.
Who knows.
How does one just open yourself back up instead of remaining tightly closed off.
Who knows.
I have no answer other than trying every day to regain some of "me" back.
And winter sure doesn't help the situation either. I hate winter. I hate the cold, snow, rain and the dreary days of it all.
I want spring and summer.
No words of wisdom in my middle of the week musings, just that ......
Life goes on........
4 comments:
It seems it may be a season for beginning again, for re-evaluating and re-defining. You do not need to have all the answers at the outset, and you do not need to be able to see the goal with crystal clarity. Practitioners of Buddhism will sometimes note that we make a path by walking on it. My wish for you, for me, for my T, and for any others who maybe starting on a new path is that each step be taken with courage and a sense of wonder.
Hugs, Sue
There are not many souls in this world that I feel have an understanding of 'the weirdest' damn life. I want you to know, what happened to you was sooo odd. How do you process it? Move on, live. Cryin' and drivin' some days. You move, like Sue said. I want you to know there are others of us who know IL, who know parts of your life, and who know 'weird'. The thing weird is it provides for weird, bizarre joys and laughs and loves that others never know. There are many in your future. Odd never changes. That's a promise. The hard thing about loss is that it is an animal of it's own. You find yourself 'finally' able to find that laugh or moment of pleasure, but then it passes....and you don't come back to 'normal' starting ground, you drop lower. This, in time, does improve. The teeter totter does get back to more normal, but it's like an emotional tornado. It's been unleashed and once you know that, that tornado will sweep through always. It becomes a friend actually. You learn not to fight it, not to hate it, it becomes a bigger part of you. My best. I know this isn't going to make sense to 90% of the people who read it. I hope to you though it is comforting. Blessings for a nice crunchy messy step through sludge today - give a kick, too, just cause!
Thank you Sue. I like that, making a path by walking on it. That sounds like something that I can do, without having a pre-set plan of something and then having a fear of failing at it. Just get up and walk upon that path, and learning to enjoy what life offers, and what is out there in that process.
I too wish you and yours the best upon your path, your road has not been an easy one, and may we all find our paths in life, and may they be a little less bumpy this year.
*hugs*
Thank you Sweetsassy, I certainly do understand that one, living that life myself. And how right you are, living it, and feeling at times that you need to learn to ride those crashing waves, and adjust your sails as I was once told. How true that cliche is!
And yes I do find it comforting, but in that odd sense of like a well worn blanket. It covers and keeps you warm, until you can shed it and get right back up there again, only to return to those places of soothing.
And I plan on doing just that, going out there and sludging through that muck and might even give it a kick or two!
Thank you.
*hugs*
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