Not exactly something you would expect to see on my blog, wedding rings. An interesting topic tho, not weddings, but the representation of what a wedding ring means in comparison to a collar. And I kinda hijacked a thread from Fetlife in regards to, is a wedding ring like a collar? It is interesting to read the many that do not think they are anything alike, and very few think they are alike as far as the commitment goes.
Here is the question I am tossing out there, we are in a style of life that we live every single day, we don't don the collars at whim, nor remove them at whim, (Not in the context of how I live my life.) Nor do we take or give those collars lightly. But how much goes along with those collars being the representation of being, 'owned'?
Vs. marriage.
When you are married you set the limits, the boundaries of what you will deal with and what you will not. You discuss things such as children, monies, property, and the likes. You are entering a contract and that contract is supposed to be, "Til death do us part." You prepare for marriage. You blend two separate worlds into one. The same as you do when you are collared. You had better know your Master before accepting his collar, just as he had better know you also. Because that leads to my second part of this. How much do we give up when becoming collared. That is where marriage and this way of life crosses and people start to question.
People don't have a hard time accepting if you give it all up to your husband, actually it is expected. But if you would do that for the Master, people start to ask why, and how much trust do you have that you would give it 'all' up to a Master. With that question there are tones of not having much trust in the one who owns you and is responsible for you. How can we say that we give up our lives but yet hold our assets into check. Hiding them away in a safe little nest so that JUST IN CASE it doesn't work out, we will have something to fall back on. How can we honestly and openly wear that collar with that in mind. How can we say that we have entered into a Master and slave relationship fully if we are holding back. That would be like saying, "You have my heart, my mind, my soul and flesh, but you can't have any say in "my" personal life!"
So how much trust do you need in a Master/slave relationship? Less or more than a conventional marriage? Or does it really compare. I have witnessed many saying that a Master/slave relationship goes so much deeper than a marriage, but then to say that you can only give so much until you get to know someone better, does not ring true. How can you say someone has full control and full responsibility and hold parts back. I really do not understand this pattern of thinking. You get the collar, you are owned, why in the world would you want to put restrictions on that, limitations on that, or reservations on that. If you do NOT trust him enough, why would you wear his collar in the first place.
Why would you pledge to honor, obey, and trust if you did not take time to get to know him before making that decision. Shouldn't that decision have already been made before slipping that collar around your throat. Kind of like that wedding ring, there has to be established trust already, to share/give your life to another. And going one step further with that type of power exchange of Master/slave, if that isn't there, what are you exchanging. A part-time relationship, which in a TPE has no basis for part-time. That is kind of like being equal partners if you ask me. And not what a Master/slave relationship is all about. I believe that is only playing at the dynamics, perhaps because "you" meaning the collective you wishes for playtime, a status quo symbol, instead of a symbolic meaning. So many collars have turned into ''velcro" these days and the commitment level is not there. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say, "We will be together as long as it lasts." What happened to forever?
I take the meaning of a collar serious. It means that I am his for life, until he dictates otherwise. That ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in my life is his and he is privy to anything about my life that he wishes to know. That I am not allowed to hold anything back in that. I must be transparent and trust explicitly. Whatever he wishes, is his. That means that I do as he says and do not question unless he allows it. I trust his judgement, I trust his call, I trust each and every thing he does. I trust him, period. I do not have the right to pick and choose what I will "allow" and what I will "not allow". That trust NEEDS to be there, on both sides. He has no right to collar if he cannot accept the responsibilities and accountability's, just as I have no right to bitch and moan if that "collar" does not fit my needs.
I think it is in all how people look at both, whether it be a wedding ring or a collar. Both people have to decide on the level of commitment they are looking for and go for it. One cannot be afraid of marriage, or be afraid of a collar, or be afraid of, "forever" and the other person isn't. Both people need to agree and hold the same beliefs in the meanings or it becomes cheapened in my humble opinion.
With this collar I thee surrender.......
Life goes on.......
No comments:
Post a Comment