Ethic of Reciprocity.

"The golden rule is to test everything in the light of reason and experience, no matter from where it comes." ~Gandhi~

I know there are some out there that would scoff at my reasoning behind my interpretation of the Ethic of Reciprocity. And in this I have learned a lesson. Maybe some would say that it is not a lesson but a revelation, but for me it is a lesson well learned.

Every Sunday my mother would make us go to Sunday School and I think that was probably the first time I heard about The Golden Rule. And through life I have often referred back to that lesson, with my own reasoning thrown into the mixture. Can I say I followed it to the letter, of course not. But I used it in the base line it provided me. Did I want someone to damage my car because I had damaged theirs. Did I want someone to steal my money, because I had stolen theirs. So in that, I did apply that rule. I would not do to others as I did not want it done back to me.

Years go by and I have added in a little bit more reasoning, and a lot more experience, and I learned that they call The Golden Rule, Ethic of Reciprocity. And learning more there are laws of reciprocity, and in which I learned through, the law of love. If we give our love, we expect it back. If we give our heart, we expect it back. If we give our trust, we expect it back. If we give our promise, we expect it back. Imagine in your brain standing there at a wedding, and the couple exchanging vows. Are they not expecting the very same in return. That is why most ceremonies have one state out loud that law of love and then the other repeats the exact same.

By now you are probably going, damn she rambles on and on and on! Actually I learned this lesson from a very good friend of mine, and I wanted to share a very valuable lesson learned. I have been listening to him in a normal conversation, talking about different things, and his words about reciprocity kept running through my mind. He was speaking on a business level, and at first I was right there along with him, listening, and then without realizing my mind started to wander, and would always go back to Ethic of Reciprocity, The Golden Rule.

And now he is gonna charge me, $24.95. What I learned tho is priceless, so I think he is undercharging!

No matter how hard I tried to get that out of my head, it refused to leave. Because I was applying that to my everyday life, and that law of love. I learned through the experience of different kinds of love, and the light of my reason and also at times, the darkness of my reason. I learned that when a person promises you a certain kind of love, in those emotions, in those boundaries, in those types of love, you expect it to be given to you in that exact way. And when it lacks, you feel cheated, and how could you ever return it in the same way. You can't. Because they have invoked nothing in return. We might think we still love them the very same way, but the process has altered its state. It is now going against the grains, instead of flowing with them.

When a person tells you that he will love you forever, and dies did he fail you in that love. No, for he loved you until his dying day. So in that it is not a choice. I am talking about choice here, law, reason, whatever you want to call it. So when you have someone who promises to love you in the way that you both agreed upon, and he fails you, because he is not returning your own needs, what light is in that, what reason is in that. And when you go to him and tell him that the relationship is over, most cannot or will not accept that. Simply because they do not see it as not keeping that law of love.

You can spend hours, days, weeks, months or even years trying to get that person to see that since he did not keep his word in the law of love, yours merely followed along. And it might still be there, that love, but nothing as it was. For now the reason and experience is put into place. You will not be put out there again to be hurt over and over, and over. Even tho as humans we do. But if we choose to allow ourselves to be hurt, them it is no fault but our own. And with each hurt we put another brick in our walls.

And then he comes back with the tools of manipulation, because he wants what he wants, right now!

DISCLAIMER-I am speaking in generals here.

But you also have your own tools, reason and experience. That trust has been broken and with each time it happens, you gain more experience. Merely because you experience more pain. And no one wants to feel that heavy weight of emotional pain. So in this my lesson, I have learned that I am still following the Golden Rule. I am giving back exactly what was given me. If I were to stay in that type of relationship, the tit-for-tat process can produce success in a way of allowing myself to give him the exact same type of love he is giving. But nowhere in that does it invoke the power of reciprocity, and so it fails to yield extraordinary success.

And the funny part of it, I did that with my business too. In my business dealings I treated them as spot market exchanges, value given for value received, period. Nothing more, nothing less. And in that it never produced that extraordinary success. Of course enough to pay the bills, but nothing that made me rich. I wish!

Anyway sorry I got side-tracked, that is the way my mind works. So lesson learned well.

Thanks "A" for the well taught lesson. And your check is in the mail!

Life goes on.....................