Tears.

"Tears are the silent language of grief." ~Voltaire~

How true those words have become. They have their own of just coming out at times and at times you do not wish to share them with a soul. You want to keep them protected and safe inside of you. For they are yours and yours alone. That is how I feel lately. I have cried more tears in these past few months than I have for years. I know it is part of the process of grief, and people say that they will help and if you don't allow them their freedom, it is not a good part of grief. Well I don't want them anymore.

I think I have reached that depressed part of grief, that part where you sit there all day wondering and reflecting on the past, what could have been done different and you find yourself in this dark despair. You want to hurl obscenities into the Universe, but yet you want to curl up in those tears and have them soothe and comfort you. But they really don't, they just leave you at times breathless and at others it is a sign of depression.

I don't think there is a way to 'do grief'. I think it just happens and you have to ride it out. And in that a part of it will always be with you, no matter what you do to try to overcome, letting time ease the hurt, the pain, the loneliness. Sad that a life ended, a father passed away, a lover, a friend, a brother, and a son, all rolled up into one. A life ended.

And you find yourself mad, angry, shocked, and all those tangled emotions, and you are left with one, grief. But when do you reach the point that life goes on, when do you reach that point that it really does and you have to get off your ass and do something about it, instead of wallowing in it.

That is where the signature line comes from when I end each post.....the same one I have used for years.....

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life-It goes on." Robert Frost.

And I think he said it all......

Life goes on.......