Rainbows.

When The Bastard and I moved into his house, well the house he found for us, he bought me that crystal, sun catcher, whatever you wish to call it. And he hung it in the kitchen window. He told me that his mother had one when she was alive that was similar, and he loved to watch the rainbows in the morning' light. And he felt that something from his childhood was brought back out when he bought me that at a fair. He found it at a fair, not very expensive, just a trinket actually, so I thought.

It did not hold much meaning for me at first, just another pretty in the house. Even tho he told me his own story, I have always been surrounded by pretty trinkets. Some I hold dear, and some are there for the appeasing glance. But this one was held by him, and he loved to go in the kitchen in the mornings, and see the pretty rainbows that crystal beamed all over the kitchen's walls, floor, and into the dining room. And he would always shout, "Look there my girl, rainbows! They remind me of you!" I would kind of roll my eyes in an embarrassed moment, thinking to myself, "Ohh yea right, I am really someones rainbow, full of joy and light!"

To those of you who do not know me, I am anything but that in the morning. I would stagger and stumble, cussing and swearing, squinting my eyes to reach that ice cold Coke in the fridge, to stumble back over to my computer, and start the daily tasks. Trying to wake up, stuck in that in between place of shut up and let me go back to bed, and I have to get my ass to work. But there he would be every morning chipper, and I would really have liked to rip that crystal off the window and throw it at him most mornings.

And it never failed, he would make that same damn comment every SINGLE morning, of course providing there was light outside. But I figured what the hell it made him happy, so be it. The last Christmas we spent together, I ordered him another one from Ebay, only I am a girl ya know, a woman without a measuring tape, so I did not pay attention to details, I only looked at the picture, and when it showed up, it was this tiny little thing. I thought to myself how in the world could I give him that as a gift. So in my sweet little smart ass way, I wrapped it up and put a note inside the box that read, "You have your rainbows and your sunshine, all I have here is this little one that probably won't shine at all, but at least it is genuine."

He laughed when he opened that box, he hung it up, and it never did throw off any rays of light. It just kind of hung there, tiny and small, not even really pretty unless you had a magnifying glass. But it was genuine.

About a week after he passed away, my sister and I were driving and in the sky there was a beautiful rainbow, and I cried. She cried, we even pulled over and took pictures of it with the camera and when we stepped out of the car, we saw it was not a single rainbow, but a double rainbow. We both knew it was him telling us it would be alright.

And a month later in the process of moving, from the house him and I shared, back to my old house, I broke the tiny one, it broke in the carton, but his larger one did not. So I found a window where it would catch the light, and shine his rainbows all over the living room in his memory. Every morning walking through there since I have been here, no rainbows. None. Not a single one. And then one morning a few days ago, I was walking through that living room, and lo and behold, I looked around and there were dozens of rainbows all over my living room!

I started to cry, only not so much tears of sadness, but tears that I knew it was his way of telling me everything is going to be alright.

Life goes on.................