Happy Hump Day!!
Sometimes you have to go back to something that is familiar. On my old blog I used to do this every Wednesday. And figured that I needed more rituals from my past brought into my present. It would be a time I would reflect some of the things that happened during the week. A time for whatever happened, whatever came to mind. And I would write about them, or just put them out there.
This has been a hard time, but in that hard time there have also been good times. Not exactly a balance, but at least there has been laughter amongst the tears. And I know that he would want me to be happy, he would have hated me being so sad all the time. And last night on the phone with a really good friend, I did get some of that grief out, that buried deep down grief where you cannot catch your breath. And in the middle of it all was laughter.
My load feels lighter today. At least that part of it. It feels so much lighter. That is a heavy load to carry around, that grief. Some have told me that I have to get back to living, not that I stopped but I guess I embraced myself in that grief and would not let anyone in. It was hard, feeling guilt, feeling that I had no right to laugh. But that is life, you laugh, you cry, and we are the ones left here, dealing with it all.
The unpacking is finally getting done, and the painting is almost done, the organization is getting there, still mounds of paperwork, but it is dwindling somewhat. So much that goes with a person's death. My smile is happening more, memories are finally starting to come back, and I guess that is what happens when........
Life goes on...........
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